By Anuj Suri
He was open to the idea of being
homosexual, at least till the first time he got a hard-on after accidentally
watching a male friend take a shower. The threat was now real and he feared
discovering his true sexual alignment. He hadn’t experienced an orgasm for
almost 3 months and believe me, for horny teenage boys, three months is a
pretty long time.
Pornography confused him even more. The
sight of naked women was still pleasant to the eyes but he could hardly achieve
an erection. Fiddling with his naked self every night wasn’t working out very
well either.
A hooker, he thought, was the answer to all
his questions. “But I don’t want to open with a hooker” and this option too,
was discounted.
There’s very little that we know about how
things figure. It was another night of mind-boggling meaningless masturbation
that took forever and, out of nowhere, his phone rang. That was probably the
first time the metallic pink phone was uneasy to look at. “Pink? What was I
thinking?”. He, then gathered what he thought were “all things gay” in his
room, hoping to find himself somewhere in the heap. He wept that night, with
almost an expressionless face.
And that night, in his feebly lit bedroom,
standing naked in front of the mirror, he gave his sexually confused reflection
the answer “I may be gay but I don’t want to know” and broke the mirror.
You’re strangled by your servile hunger
Struggling with the odds isn’t really the
question
Acceptance is only a mirror away
Gay you
