By Anonymous
“Bitch, it’s better to be dumb with you than not
talking to you”.
My ex-bf, (Read it as best-friend or boyfriend…as
you wish. He meant to me more than any “defined” relation), texted me this
once. These were the days when we had an awesome friendship, when we texted
each other all the time, when we shared every small and insignificant thing
related to us, when we thought we would be best friends forever, when half the
campus guessed that we were in a relationship.
But all this is a past. Now we are strangers. This
concept of breakup of best friends passes tangentially across my head. To deal
with this is as impossible for me as it is to run a C program all on my own.
I met him a year ago. He is a year senior to me. And
a football freak!!!
It was my first day in college. I met a second year
guy while I was walking along my hostel road. After the brief ragging or
interaction session we exchanged our phone numbers. And we became good friends
after that and hung out frequently. People thought we were going out. But lite…he got committed to someone else.
During these days he introduced me to his best friend. Trust me, this is the
only good thing he must have done in his life. Life was great then. These two
guys used to be in the same hostel room and text me at the same time. They used
to wish me luck for exams on each other’s behalf. Anyways, this best friend is
the protagonist of this article. He is the guy who turned out to be my bestest
friend later. Time passed and I was blessed to have my best friend.
Then came the Fresher’s Day. We went to a Salsa workshop.
I have forgotten all the steps I learnt but there’s still a vivid picture in my
mind of the moment when I almost fell and he held my hand to catch me. I
remember how we looked into each other’s eyes for the first time. Wow!!!! We
got a picture clicked but stupid me (I always act impulsively) I deleted it.
Little did I know that it would become part of the beautiful memories. This was
followed by going out to watch “Anjaana Anjaani” and many more things.
I repeat
life was great. We were with each other all the time (through text). He text-ed
me when he was in class, when he was with friends, all the time. We text-ed all
night until one of us fell asleep. We also fought a lot. And he used to manaofy me “Tujhe manaane mein sahi maja aata hai” he used to say. He said I am
lucky for him and I wished him every time he played poker and he would give me
the credit on winning. He said we are like the pieces of a puzzle, we
complement each other. He said he would never let me go. When we went out with
our friends, we got things for each other. I still have many things that I
could never give him. And his birthday……OMG!!!! It was the most anticipated
thing. I wanted it to be the most memorable day of his life. I had so many
plans. I was looking forward to it even more than RA.One (I’m a huge SRK fan).
Talking about him…..hmmm…I can actually write a
book on him. What he likes, what he doesn’t, what he wants to do in life, who
all are the people he hates on campus, his childhood stories, his cute brother,
his awesome grand-maa, what pisses him off, his favourite football team, both
in Spanish league as well as English, his favourite album (it kept on changing
and I kept updating myself). I know every fucking thing about him and so does
he. We had a few things in common. We are obsessed with Indian Air Force, want
to do MBA after engineering and were big SRK fans (I still am but now he isn’t).
This was the “old” him. Now he has changed.
 |
| Photo credit - Anoop Nagendra |
That was an unfortunate day. He text-ed me he does
not want to talk to me anymore. We should go our separate ways. We are no more
compatible. We were friends before but now we are not. I was shocked. He was
going to change our friendship like the graph of a unit step function. I argued
a lot. But he had made up his mind. During the span of our friendship I did
every small and big thing I could to make him happy, I cared for him, I thought
about him every second. Never did I hurt him. The only mistake I did was that I
became possessive about him. I got emotionally attached to him. But was it such
a big mistake that he abandoned me? I asked him for a second chance, everyone
deserves it. He denied it. I said I would never ever give him a chance to
complaint. He didn’t listen. I asked him why? He said he had become cold
blooded. These things don’t matter to him anymore. He was no longer interested
in SRK’s movies.
As I was thinking about all this, all the Facebook
status updates like “Never let your true friend go”, “Love can change everyone”,
“Try and try, till u succeed” and shit like this revolved around my head and I
got inspired. I decided to fix everything on my own. I continued to act as if
nothing had changed. I still texted him. I was sure he would stop all this
drama and be my friend again. But I was sadly mistaken. His heart cells had
mutated. He said it’s just impossible to restore things. I asked him a last
question: “Will you miss me?” and he said he has learnt not to miss people.
But what about me? I don’t know how to forget you.
I remember each and every conversation we had. Still your name brings a smile
on my face. I still can feel the hug you gave me on the steps of the football
ground. I still remember holding your hand and talking to you. Every day I wake
up expecting a good morning message from you. I still hope that I would receive
good luck message “my bitch, do well” before my exams .Why did you end this? Bolo na…..aisa hota hai kya? You always
said “bitch, it’s your wish”. Then why did you take this decision on your own?
Why did you put an end to all my wishes? I was ready to change myself for you,
why dint you give me a chance?
And why didn't you teach me to forget you???
