By Arpita Nandi
Looking good. Check. Packed the kids’ lunch boxes after
having supervised their bath and breakfast. Check. Made badam milk for the
in-laws. Check. Getting that fat paycheque this evening. Check. That’s the
ideal Indian woman of today for you. She’s the ultimate blend of tradition and
modernity, juggling work and home with perfect dexterity. Be it ironing the
creases out of her ever-so-busy husband’s blazer, to checking if mom-in-law has
had her medicines, to helping the kids with the homework- multitasking seems to
be such an integral part of her identity, you’d hardly call it a skill anymore-
it’s just something she was born with. As we go on and on today about women’s
lib, and how she’s stepped out of the purdah, we seem to have completely
overlooked the fact that she has probably had to jump from the frying pan into
the fire, as she has begun living an almost dual life.
A lot has been said of how today’s Indian woman looks at her
male counterpart in the eyes –she is as well-qualified, educationally as well
as professionally, as him. Today’s urban Indian woman has stormed into, and
conquered territories that were previously ruled by men- and how!
Yet, amidst all this fanfare, the little fact that has
probably been lost upon by us, is that though she shares office space with her
man, he does not seem to be willing to share her responsibilities at home. And
so, what we have today is a breed of exhausted “superwomen.” Society uses that
term to spur her to slog harder, fulfilling its own selfish desires; while the
superwoman herself loves the tag- it’s an ‘honor’ that has been bestowed upon
her, and she tries hard to fill the bottomless pit of expectations they have
from her- not living up to which seems like sacrilege, thus making her feel
guilty. Remember Radhika Jha from ‘One Night in a Call Center’?
The modern Indian woman is so pressurized; sometimes it
looks like stepping out of the confines of her home was probably her worst
mistake. Today, not only is she expected to study and earn as much as men, but
also to cook, clean and feed the family- traditional wifely duties. Her husband
feels no guilt while helping himself to half her salary to pay for his gaming
CDs, but finds it derogatory to his ‘image’ if he helped her with her chores.
At the end of the day, drained of the last ounce of energy in her body, when
she tries to relax, she is often accused of not taking enough care of herself-
contributing to her shabby appearance, for traditionally, ‘looks maketh a
woman’! Worse, after the herculean jobs of the day are done to perfection, she
still has to be that demure, quiet woman, flashes of whom we’ve grown up seen
in our mothers. She can’t afford to be irritated, despite the hard work taking
a toll on her, for who has ever heard a good Indian woman shout, or seen her
being irritable? She’s second probably only to Jesus Christ when it came to
patience and forgiveness. She’s sweet-natured by default, and has never been
known to raise her voice. The very qualities that men use to assert their
‘masculinity’ sound the death knell of a woman’s ‘perfection’.
But what can she be, if not shabby and irritated, dear
guardians of society? As she tries hard to strike that perfect balance in her
dual life, a little appreciation is the least she deserves. If we take her for
granted and make it look like letting her stand on her own two feet is
something she owed society one for, we’re way too wrong! We’re not doing her
favor by giving her the independence that she deserves, and her right to a good
life. She’s the ‘ardhangini’ – one of the two halves of a home. Man is the
other. In every aspect. And it’s about time he lived up to that wedding vow!
About: A self-confessed Bengal-oorean, Arpita is at present supposedly studyingto become an electrical engineer. She however dreams of a future where she's a bestselling short-story writer. Arpita is passionate about cooking (both, stories, and food!!), singing and throwball...
